That night, things started to get really crazy. We watched “A Series of Unfortunate Events” and I made jack-o-lantern themed pumpkin tagine. Not going to lie, I am super proud of how it turned out.
 |
| Probably more adorable than scary |
I can’t remember if it was that day or the day before or some other time in space (my brain is mush), but I went to the pharmacy to try to get something like Nyquil, where I ran into a cultural difference that I was entirely unaware of.
If you have a cold in America, you can walk into almost any store, pick up your drugs, and get on with life. In France, you have to go specifically to a pharmacy and all of the drugs are behind the counter. Also in France, instead of just giving you what you ask for, the pharmacists are supposed to diagnose you and then tell you what you need.
I personally feel that I know how to handle the common cold and require no unsolicited advice from pseudo-physcians. Taking Sudafed and eating soup is just not that hard. Anyway, I digress; the conversation basically went like this:
Me: Hi, I have a cold. I would like something to help me sleep at night and unclog my nose.
Prying pharmacist: Okay, are you already taking something for the daytime? Or is this only happening at nighttime?
...Yes. Yes, I have an exclusively nocturnal cold.
Me: No...I already have something for the day. I need something for night. So I can sleep. Something like Nyquil.
Sir pharm’s a-lot: What are you taking during the day?
Me: *Becoming increasingly more impatient/confused by the length of this interaction* I don’t know. My boyfriend bought it. I just want the nighttime medication for colds. I see it right there. That is what I want.
Pharmacist of my actual nightmares: So, your boyfriend also has a cold? Is this what you are taking? *Shows box that has daytime and nighttime pills in it.*
Me: No, but that is what I want. That has nighttime pills in it. I would like to buy that box.
Worst human in world: Well you can’t just start taking these new pills if you’re already taking another brand. Also, this will not help with congestion. We will start you on a new regiment. *Proceeds to put a pile of drugs on the counter.* This is a nasal spray. You can use this at night to unclog your nose. This is a device to clean your nose before putting in the nasal spray. This is a new set of daytime pills to complete the new regiment.
Me: *Dies inside.* Well...no...I don’t need a new regiment. I want something to help me sleep and unclog my nose. I just don’t sleep well with a cold.
Satan posing as unqualified doctor: Well, frankly, nighttime cold medicine won’t unclog your nose.
…Then why do nighttime cold drugs exist?? I don’t care if it gives me exorcist-like side effects as long as it also knocks me out.
Me: You know, I’ll just…I’m fine. I don’t have a cold (read: a will to live) anymore.
I just had to get out of that place. Unfortunately, later that night it became clear that I would not sleep without something like Nyquil. That’s when Carson, being the amazing human he is, went to a different pharmacy and simply said he had a cold and wanted the day/nighttime pills. So heroic. I slept like the impatient baby that I am that night.
In other news, we finally had our official first week of classes. I wasn’t entirely sure what I would be doing, but I assumed it would involve sitting in the corner of a classroom and occasionally explaining idioms or how to pronounce certain words. I was totally fine with that, because I had more or less lost my voice and only had about one long conversation left in me. This also means I had prepared absolutely nothing.
When I got to the school, my mentor professor gave me my schedule (which inexplicably identifies me as Madame Rachel Jackson, the German teaching assistant) and I went to the classroom listed for my first course. The room was filled with students, but I didn’t see the teacher.
Me: Hey guys... is your teacher just late?
Student: No, he is in other room.
After an extended and confusing interaction with the students, I realized that I was, in fact, the teacher. This was kind of problematic since I didn’t know what the class was studying or who the actual teacher even was and, worst of all, I sounded like a 60 year old man who had smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day since his youth. I almost had a mild freak out, but then remembered it was France and more likely than not, nobody cared what I was doing in that classroom. I ended up making it an “introduction” day and, to my surprise, having a really great time.
After this class, I felt like a little bit of clarification was in order so I went to see my professor, who explained that I would be teaching literally all of my classes alone. I told her that was fine but my voice was about to give out, and she proceeded to give me a box of tiny little pills. She instructed me to take one and my voice would be magically fixed. I continue to have no idea what these things actually are but they worked surprisingly well and I ate about 17 of them. Hopefully that is somewhat close to the recommended dosage.
I also went around and asked some of the other teachers what subjects they were covering in their classes so I could plan my lessons around their curriculums. It became obvious that they did not care at all what I did as long as I got the students to speak in English. Only one teacher specified what I should discuss:
Teacher: Oh, well since it’s a literature class, just talk about literature.
Me: All right, I can do that. Do you have a list of books that they’re reading this year?
Teacher: Well, no. It doesn’t have to be that specific.
Me: Okay, got it. Is there any time period or genre or techniques...
Teacher: No. Just literature.
So...that narrowed it down.
Anyway, I didn’t know how I would feel about teaching, but it turns out that I really really like it; I basically get to talk endlessly about myself/whatever I want to a captive audience who already thinks I’m super cool solely based on the fact that I’m American. All of my classes went really well the first day, and the kids were very respectful and participative. The only issue I had was with my last class of the day. Granted, it was 3pm and at that point no one is thinking about anything but going home. No matter what I did, they would not speak; they just stared blankly every time I asked a question. I was also very tired after having taught 5 classes in a row, so things started to get weird. To my recollection, the conversation went like this:
Me: If you guys don’t start responding, we’re going to go around the room and everyone has to say the word “squirrel.”
**Side note: squirrel is possibly the most hilarious English word for French people to say
Students: *Staring blankly*
Me: I’m serious. I’ll do it.
Students: *Blank stares turn more into looks of confusion/fear*
Me: Fine. But this is your doing. *Points at terrified student* You, say squirrel.
Student: *Looks around at friends, clearly has no idea what a squirrel is* Eh... Sqwee-rreel? What is this?
I then realized that the word for squirrel in French is equally impossible/hilarious for English speakers to pronounce, so instead of subjecting myself to that humiliation, I just started acting like a squirrel and scampering around the classroom. Much better.
Other than that, the first week was very successful. I’m generally with pretty advanced students, which makes my job very easy. I feel more or less like an imposter eOn Friday I just took in a deck of cards and taught them how to play black jack/casino and card terms. This will surely be very helpful knowledge when taking the baccalaureate.
Aside from school, this week was super busy because I was commissioned to compose a song by someone on the freelance website I use. So, instead of writing blogs on the train, I was doing that. Hence why this post is enormous and choppy.
LAST THING... Carson’s first week also went very well and his tutoring gigs are a great side job. He reports that he has nothing else to report.
Happy Sunday to all!
If you have a cold in America, you can walk into almost any store, pick up your drugs, and get on with life. In France, you have to go specifically to a pharmacy and all of the drugs are behind the counter. Also in France, instead of just giving you what you ask for, the pharmacists are supposed to diagnose you and then tell you what you need.
I personally feel that I know how to handle the common cold and require no unsolicited advice from pseudo-physcians. Taking Sudafed and eating soup is just not that hard. Anyway, I digress; the conversation basically went like this:
Me: Hi, I have a cold. I would like something to help me sleep at night and unclog my nose.
Prying pharmacist: Okay, are you already taking something for the daytime? Or is this only happening at nighttime?
...Yes. Yes, I have an exclusively nocturnal cold.
Me: No...I already have something for the day. I need something for night. So I can sleep. Something like Nyquil.
Sir pharm’s a-lot: What are you taking during the day?
Me: *Becoming increasingly more impatient/confused by the length of this interaction* I don’t know. My boyfriend bought it. I just want the nighttime medication for colds. I see it right there. That is what I want.
Pharmacist of my actual nightmares: So, your boyfriend also has a cold? Is this what you are taking? *Shows box that has daytime and nighttime pills in it.*
Me: No, but that is what I want. That has nighttime pills in it. I would like to buy that box.
Worst human in world: Well you can’t just start taking these new pills if you’re already taking another brand. Also, this will not help with congestion. We will start you on a new regiment. *Proceeds to put a pile of drugs on the counter.* This is a nasal spray. You can use this at night to unclog your nose. This is a device to clean your nose before putting in the nasal spray. This is a new set of daytime pills to complete the new regiment.
Me: *Dies inside.* Well...no...I don’t need a new regiment. I want something to help me sleep and unclog my nose. I just don’t sleep well with a cold.
Satan posing as unqualified doctor: Well, frankly, nighttime cold medicine won’t unclog your nose.
…Then why do nighttime cold drugs exist?? I don’t care if it gives me exorcist-like side effects as long as it also knocks me out.
Me: You know, I’ll just…I’m fine. I don’t have a cold (read: a will to live) anymore.
I just had to get out of that place. Unfortunately, later that night it became clear that I would not sleep without something like Nyquil. That’s when Carson, being the amazing human he is, went to a different pharmacy and simply said he had a cold and wanted the day/nighttime pills. So heroic. I slept like the impatient baby that I am that night.
In other news, we finally had our official first week of classes. I wasn’t entirely sure what I would be doing, but I assumed it would involve sitting in the corner of a classroom and occasionally explaining idioms or how to pronounce certain words. I was totally fine with that, because I had more or less lost my voice and only had about one long conversation left in me. This also means I had prepared absolutely nothing.
When I got to the school, my mentor professor gave me my schedule (which inexplicably identifies me as Madame Rachel Jackson, the German teaching assistant) and I went to the classroom listed for my first course. The room was filled with students, but I didn’t see the teacher.
Me: Hey guys... is your teacher just late?
Student: No, he is in other room.
After an extended and confusing interaction with the students, I realized that I was, in fact, the teacher. This was kind of problematic since I didn’t know what the class was studying or who the actual teacher even was and, worst of all, I sounded like a 60 year old man who had smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day since his youth. I almost had a mild freak out, but then remembered it was France and more likely than not, nobody cared what I was doing in that classroom. I ended up making it an “introduction” day and, to my surprise, having a really great time.
After this class, I felt like a little bit of clarification was in order so I went to see my professor, who explained that I would be teaching literally all of my classes alone. I told her that was fine but my voice was about to give out, and she proceeded to give me a box of tiny little pills. She instructed me to take one and my voice would be magically fixed. I continue to have no idea what these things actually are but they worked surprisingly well and I ate about 17 of them. Hopefully that is somewhat close to the recommended dosage.
I also went around and asked some of the other teachers what subjects they were covering in their classes so I could plan my lessons around their curriculums. It became obvious that they did not care at all what I did as long as I got the students to speak in English. Only one teacher specified what I should discuss:
Teacher: Oh, well since it’s a literature class, just talk about literature.
Me: All right, I can do that. Do you have a list of books that they’re reading this year?
Teacher: Well, no. It doesn’t have to be that specific.
Me: Okay, got it. Is there any time period or genre or techniques...
Teacher: No. Just literature.
So...that narrowed it down.
Anyway, I didn’t know how I would feel about teaching, but it turns out that I really really like it; I basically get to talk endlessly about myself/whatever I want to a captive audience who already thinks I’m super cool solely based on the fact that I’m American. All of my classes went really well the first day, and the kids were very respectful and participative. The only issue I had was with my last class of the day. Granted, it was 3pm and at that point no one is thinking about anything but going home. No matter what I did, they would not speak; they just stared blankly every time I asked a question. I was also very tired after having taught 5 classes in a row, so things started to get weird. To my recollection, the conversation went like this:
Me: If you guys don’t start responding, we’re going to go around the room and everyone has to say the word “squirrel.”
**Side note: squirrel is possibly the most hilarious English word for French people to say
Students: *Staring blankly*
Me: I’m serious. I’ll do it.
Students: *Blank stares turn more into looks of confusion/fear*
Me: Fine. But this is your doing. *Points at terrified student* You, say squirrel.
Student: *Looks around at friends, clearly has no idea what a squirrel is* Eh... Sqwee-rreel? What is this?
I then realized that the word for squirrel in French is equally impossible/hilarious for English speakers to pronounce, so instead of subjecting myself to that humiliation, I just started acting like a squirrel and scampering around the classroom. Much better.
Other than that, the first week was very successful. I’m generally with pretty advanced students, which makes my job very easy. I feel more or less like an imposter eOn Friday I just took in a deck of cards and taught them how to play black jack/casino and card terms. This will surely be very helpful knowledge when taking the baccalaureate.
Aside from school, this week was super busy because I was commissioned to compose a song by someone on the freelance website I use. So, instead of writing blogs on the train, I was doing that. Hence why this post is enormous and choppy.
LAST THING... Carson’s first week also went very well and his tutoring gigs are a great side job. He reports that he has nothing else to report.
Happy Sunday to all!
I looked up the word for squirrel in French and instantly sympathized.
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