Teaching has been going super well. I’ve developed great relationships with the groups that I see every week and am finally starting to remember names/faces/levels of weirdness. The latter item is by far the most important, and my favorite class—unsurprisingly—is also by far the weirdest. I am always delighted by the deranged, absurd thoughts that come out of their mouths and by their expressions of admiration and love. Of course, in the hands of a bunch of weirdos, cute/nice gestures have a tendency to spiral rather quickly into a creepy place. In any case, they are fantastic.
Examples of their awesomeness:
Ex. 1:
I asked them to come up with team names last week when we were playing a Jeopardy-like game. One group named themselves “Rachel’s Army,” which was adorable and basically implied that I am Dumbledore. (Let me have this).
With tears of joy threatening to brim over, I responded: “Well, now I’m definitely going to be biased”
A different group then chimed in: “We change. WE CHANGE...to... to... Lovers of Rachel! No, Rachel’s lovers!”
See how the creepy just kind of happens...
But still. It’s mostly cute.
Ex. 2:
This week I had them create an invention or product that they had to present to the class and convince me to invest in. One group’s product was a prosthetic nose that protected against bad breath and was brilliantly named iSmell.
Another group made an entire line of torture products, which they described rather elaborately. Here’s an excerpt from their presentation:
“Have you ever had problems with neighbors? Here’s the solution! A moo box that plays Yandure’s* laugh to frighten them and turn them into your slaves! Available in pink, blue...for all tastes!”
* A scary animé character with a manic laugh that I was previously unaware of.
“...We also have this beautiful torture chair, made to prevent your terrible neighbor from moving and upsetting you! Available in black metal, steel, and mahogany. Only 50$--cheaper than Ikea!”
I thought offering a torture chair in mahogany wood was great. The criminal who bought that would have class. But also, what teenager knows the word for “mahogany” in a language other than their own, or even in general? In high school I would have thought mahogany was somehow related to Mongols...but it’s possible I was a special case.
“...Now we have a collection of environmentally friendly missiles that are powered with corn and rice growing inside!* Available at 100$ for 10 --10% reduction with a fidelity card!”
*Is this based at all in science or did it just literally come out of nowhere?
They then described the current state of the torture product market. I was both horrified and impressed.
Now, on to a less-than-good-but-still-pretty-hilarious teaching experience. The other week I had one of those classes that is dominated by one obnoxious personality. This type of student always has at least two minions that are equally obnoxious, but you know they would behave if removed from the ringleader. That day, the ringleader wasn’t necessarily doing anything horrible; he was just being as distracting and overall disrespectful as any other day. Luckily, I was in a great mood, so I was able to greatly ignore him and even joke around about his loudness.
Then, I happened to run into the professor of this specific class at lunch and decided to participate in the lunchtime ritual of complaining about how highschoolers are the scourge of the earth. I honestly don’t remember what I said, something like: “I don’t know how to deal with Thomas. He’s loud and disrespectful and his two cronies annoy me too...Darned kids!”
I supposed I’ve received this reaction before, but I was still surprised by how upset the professor was by this news. It’s possible that assistants in the past had discipline issues or maybe they just see me as a baby that needs protecting.
I didn’t remember the minions’ names, so she immediately got out the book of student faces and made me point them out. She kept saying that she was going to verb that I had never heard before them. From the context, I assumed she meant “give them a stern scolding.” I told her that wouldn’t be necessary, but...meh, whatever, do what you have to do...and proceeded to forget about the conversation entirely.
The next day, I discovered that relying on context clues was maybe not the best call when the boys’ very upset primary teacher approached me.
Him: “I heard about the boys and I am so, so sorry about that. That’s simply not acceptable and they know that. I’m so sorry. I’m about to go talk to them and verb I don’t know again and call their parents.”
...Well, that escalated quickly.
Me: “Oh? I mean, it wasn’t that big of a deal...you definitely don’t need to call their parents.”
Teacher: “No. They know better. It’s not acceptable and they know that, really.”
Meanwhile, I’m struggling to even remember what they did that was “not acceptable” during that period in order to justify any of these punishments.
Me: “I mean, they were only a normal amount of disruptive. Really, don’t call their parents yet.”
Teacher: “Are you sure? It’s no problem at all, but I won’t if you think we should save that for a later time. Anyway, they will have to verb I should have looked up regardless.”
Me: “Right...and that means...”
Teacher: “Ah, they come in for a number of hours in the morning on Saturday.”
Ohhhhhhhh. They have a verb for detention. Isn’t detention a big deal? They already spend the majority of their lives at school so I imagine it’s a pretty significant downer.
Me: “Oh. No, you don’t need to do that either. Just talking to them is fine.”
Teacher: “No, no. They are used to it. This is very, very normal for them. It’s weirder if they somehow don’t get in trouble. It’s not a big deal.”
Me: “Well...if you’re sure.”
I didn’t immediately feel like a horrible, sneaky Snape, but then I realized that during that class period I didn’t indicate even slightly that they were being bothersome. I would say I was even actively nice to them due to my good mood. They couldn’t have seen what was about to happen from a zillion miles away.
...But mostly, I found this pretty funny. Also, I think word got around that I’m (accidentally) no longer making empty threats, and the rest of my classes who have been moderately disruptive in the past are now perfectly respectful. I haven’t seen those poor boys since they served their time, but hopefully they would agree that this was all for the greater good. Or...at least my greater good.
Otherwise, Carson has been in the UK since Monday, bringing about several realizations:
1. The recycling bag gets unreasonably heavy (usually Carson takes this down). If I lived alone drinking less or doing more push-ups would be necessary.
2. I will never again live dishwasher-less.
3. I use roughly 95% of the toilet paper.
Also, I miss Carson.
BUT he gets back tonight AND another two week break starts today. Yeeeee! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Ex. 1:
I asked them to come up with team names last week when we were playing a Jeopardy-like game. One group named themselves “Rachel’s Army,” which was adorable and basically implied that I am Dumbledore. (Let me have this).
With tears of joy threatening to brim over, I responded: “Well, now I’m definitely going to be biased”
A different group then chimed in: “We change. WE CHANGE...to... to... Lovers of Rachel! No, Rachel’s lovers!”
See how the creepy just kind of happens...
But still. It’s mostly cute.
Ex. 2:
This week I had them create an invention or product that they had to present to the class and convince me to invest in. One group’s product was a prosthetic nose that protected against bad breath and was brilliantly named iSmell.
Another group made an entire line of torture products, which they described rather elaborately. Here’s an excerpt from their presentation:
“Have you ever had problems with neighbors? Here’s the solution! A moo box that plays Yandure’s* laugh to frighten them and turn them into your slaves! Available in pink, blue...for all tastes!”
* A scary animé character with a manic laugh that I was previously unaware of.
“...We also have this beautiful torture chair, made to prevent your terrible neighbor from moving and upsetting you! Available in black metal, steel, and mahogany. Only 50$--cheaper than Ikea!”
I thought offering a torture chair in mahogany wood was great. The criminal who bought that would have class. But also, what teenager knows the word for “mahogany” in a language other than their own, or even in general? In high school I would have thought mahogany was somehow related to Mongols...but it’s possible I was a special case.
“...Now we have a collection of environmentally friendly missiles that are powered with corn and rice growing inside!* Available at 100$ for 10 --10% reduction with a fidelity card!”
*Is this based at all in science or did it just literally come out of nowhere?
They then described the current state of the torture product market. I was both horrified and impressed.
Now, on to a less-than-good-but-still-pretty-hilarious teaching experience. The other week I had one of those classes that is dominated by one obnoxious personality. This type of student always has at least two minions that are equally obnoxious, but you know they would behave if removed from the ringleader. That day, the ringleader wasn’t necessarily doing anything horrible; he was just being as distracting and overall disrespectful as any other day. Luckily, I was in a great mood, so I was able to greatly ignore him and even joke around about his loudness.
Then, I happened to run into the professor of this specific class at lunch and decided to participate in the lunchtime ritual of complaining about how highschoolers are the scourge of the earth. I honestly don’t remember what I said, something like: “I don’t know how to deal with Thomas. He’s loud and disrespectful and his two cronies annoy me too...Darned kids!”
I supposed I’ve received this reaction before, but I was still surprised by how upset the professor was by this news. It’s possible that assistants in the past had discipline issues or maybe they just see me as a baby that needs protecting.
I didn’t remember the minions’ names, so she immediately got out the book of student faces and made me point them out. She kept saying that she was going to verb that I had never heard before them. From the context, I assumed she meant “give them a stern scolding.” I told her that wouldn’t be necessary, but...meh, whatever, do what you have to do...and proceeded to forget about the conversation entirely.
The next day, I discovered that relying on context clues was maybe not the best call when the boys’ very upset primary teacher approached me.
Him: “I heard about the boys and I am so, so sorry about that. That’s simply not acceptable and they know that. I’m so sorry. I’m about to go talk to them and verb I don’t know again and call their parents.”
...Well, that escalated quickly.
Me: “Oh? I mean, it wasn’t that big of a deal...you definitely don’t need to call their parents.”
Teacher: “No. They know better. It’s not acceptable and they know that, really.”
Meanwhile, I’m struggling to even remember what they did that was “not acceptable” during that period in order to justify any of these punishments.
Me: “I mean, they were only a normal amount of disruptive. Really, don’t call their parents yet.”
Teacher: “Are you sure? It’s no problem at all, but I won’t if you think we should save that for a later time. Anyway, they will have to verb I should have looked up regardless.”
Me: “Right...and that means...”
Teacher: “Ah, they come in for a number of hours in the morning on Saturday.”
Ohhhhhhhh. They have a verb for detention. Isn’t detention a big deal? They already spend the majority of their lives at school so I imagine it’s a pretty significant downer.
Me: “Oh. No, you don’t need to do that either. Just talking to them is fine.”
Teacher: “No, no. They are used to it. This is very, very normal for them. It’s weirder if they somehow don’t get in trouble. It’s not a big deal.”
Me: “Well...if you’re sure.”
I didn’t immediately feel like a horrible, sneaky Snape, but then I realized that during that class period I didn’t indicate even slightly that they were being bothersome. I would say I was even actively nice to them due to my good mood. They couldn’t have seen what was about to happen from a zillion miles away.
...But mostly, I found this pretty funny. Also, I think word got around that I’m (accidentally) no longer making empty threats, and the rest of my classes who have been moderately disruptive in the past are now perfectly respectful. I haven’t seen those poor boys since they served their time, but hopefully they would agree that this was all for the greater good. Or...at least my greater good.
Otherwise, Carson has been in the UK since Monday, bringing about several realizations:
1. The recycling bag gets unreasonably heavy (usually Carson takes this down). If I lived alone drinking less or doing more push-ups would be necessary.
2. I will never again live dishwasher-less.
3. I use roughly 95% of the toilet paper.
Also, I miss Carson.
BUT he gets back tonight AND another two week break starts today. Yeeeee! Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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